My Child is My Life - Parenting Pamphlet (requires Acrobat Reader)My Child is My Life - Parenting Pamphlet (requires Acrobat Reader)My Child is My Life - Parenting Pamphlet (requires Acrobat Reader)My Child is My Life - Parenting Pamphlet (requires Acrobat Reader)My Child is My Life - Parenting Pamphlet (requires Acrobat Reader)

SUGAR Research has shown that children consume significantly more added sugar than recommended. Dietary guidelines recommend no more than 10 teaspoons of added sugar per day for an average diet, but the actual intake in 1994 was 20 teaspoons per day, with regular soft drinks contributing about one-third of the additional sugars. Children are drowning themselves in a sea of sugar that is causing them to become overweight. From 1965 to 1996, the average daily intake of soft drinks for 11 to 18 year olds increased by 290% for boys and 230% for girls. Sugar-sweetened drinks lead to taking in excess calories, which leads to weight gain. The USDA recommends consuming less than 40 grams (10 teaspoons) of sugar per day (about 1 can of pop/soda). Choose food products with less than 15 grams of sugars per serving (the lower the better). Percentage of recommended daily limit on added sugar: 1 can of pop/soda 100% 1 cup regular ice cream 60% 1 cup sweetened yogurt 70% 1 cup sweet breakfast cereal 30% 1 candy bar 60% CAFFEINE Many of sugared drinks consumed, particularly those by teenagers, have high levels of caffeine. A study of children in Grades 7 to 9 showed that higher caffeine intake resulted in disturbances in sleep pattern. Children and adolescents can become addicted to caffeine, showing withdrawl symptoms or difficulty in limiting intake. FAT Nutritionists, the American Heart Association, and the Heart and Stroke Foundation of Canada all recommend a diet with less than 30% of calories from fat. They also recommend that no more than 10% of the calories come from saturated fat. Saturated fats are usually solid at room temperature and occur in higher amounts in some meats and in regular fat dairy products. Too much saturated fat is unhealthy for the heart. Unsaturated fats are liquid at room temperature (oils) and come mostly from plant products. Unsaturated fats occur in higher amounts in higher amounts in fish, whole grains, nuts seeds, and some vegetables, such as olives and avocados. Unsaturated fats are considered healthier for the heart. Unsaturated fat exist as mono-unsaturated fat or poly-unsaturated fat depending on which fatty acids building blocks are used to make them. CALORIES FROM FAT If the label does not specifically list the number of calories from fat, there is an easy way to figure it out. Just add zero after the number of grams of fat listed on the label. For example, if the label lists 10 grams of fat per serving, adding zero means 100. This means that there are 100 Calories form fat. The reason this works is because each gram of fat has 9 calories. We are simply rounding 9 calories up to an even 10 Calories and multiplying by the total calories in one serving. If the total calories per serving is 200 Calories, and 100 Calories is coming from fat, that means that half (50%) of the calories are from fat. This is much higher than the recommended 35%. FIBER Fiber is important for your family’s health. It is recommended that children get the equivalent of their Age+5 in grams of fiber per day. Look for products with the nutritional claims: "source of dietary fiber" (2 to 4 grams), "high source of dietary fiber" (4 to 6 grams), "very high source of fiber" (6 grams or more). To find good sources of fiber in the ingredients list, look for the following ingredients: 100% whole-wheat flour, wheat bran, oat bran, and corn bran. By eating enough fruit, vegetables, legumes, nuts, and whole-grain foods, your child will be getting all the fiber they need. Figs, prunes, and raspberries have the highest fiber content among fresh fruits. Spinach, kale, broccoli, and carrots are high in fiber. ANTIOXIDENTS Guidelines have not been set for the amount and type of antioxidants that are optimal for health. Recently, a major study was undertaken to determine which 100 commonly eaten foods had the highest levels of antioxidant effects. The findings of that study strongly suggests that it is very important that we include a wide variety of fruit, vegetables, nuts, beans and even spices in our diet. Best Sources of Antioxidants: • Fresh fruit: Blueberries, cranberries, blackberries, raspberries, and strawberries have very high levels of antioxidants. • High levels are also found in red delicious apples, Granny Smith apples, plums, avocados, and cherries. • Dried fruit: Prunes have very high levels of antioxidants. Dates, figs, and raisins all have high levels as well. • Fresh vegetables: Artichoke has the highest levels of anti-oxidants. Dark, leafy vegetables, such as spinach and lettuces (except iceberg lettuce), all have high levels as well. Raw asparagus, cabbages, and eggplant were also good sources. • Spices: Cloves, cinnamon, oregano leaf, and turmeric have high levels of antioxidants. SODIUM OR SALT The American Heart Association recommends that for every 1000 Calories consumed, sodium intake should be 1000 milligrams (1/2 teaspoon) and should not exceed the 3,000-milligram limit. GRAINS AND WHEAT If we are concerned about our children’s health, we must pay more attention to the quality of the grain products we are feeding them. Aim to serve whole grains, not “white” grains. To store large quantities of flour for long periods of time, grain processing removes part of the kernel that would make the flour spoil. Processing removes the nutrient-rich outer bran and germ layers, as well as the oils of the wheat berry. The processed flour is commonly ‘enriched’ as a last step by adding back same types of nutrients that were removed in processing, but in smaller amounts and possible deficient in phytochemicals. When bread products have packaging that says “whole grain,” this does not necessarily mean that they are made from whole grain flour. Looking on the ingredient list is the only way to know for sure. Terms like “enriched flour,” “enriched wheat flour,” and “unbleached wheat flour” all mean that refined white flour is being used. Look for “whole” in the first few ingredients of the ingredients list. IRON Iron is used in our red blood cells to allow them to pick up oxygen from the air we breathe and deliver it throughout our body. Iron is present in foods in two different forms, heme iron and non-heme iron. The heme iron form is found in animal meats and fish. It is the easiest for the body to use. The non-heme iron is found in plant products. It is more difficult for our body to absorb. Iron is also added to many cereals and other processed foods. Recommended amount of total daily iron: AGE GROUP AMOUNT Children ages 1-3 7mg/day Children ages 4-8 10mg/day Youth aged 9-13 8mg/day Males ages 14-18 11mg/day Females aged 14-18 15mg/day The daily recommendation for iron are guidelines only. It is quite possible that less than the recommended amount will be consumed on a few days of the week and more than the recommended amount will be consumes on other days. This is fine because the body is good at leveling out these guidelines. Common Sources of Iron: Source Amount Iron Content (mg) Lean ground beef 125g 3.4 Tuna Fish 125g 3.3 Poultry (without skin) 90g 2.3 Cream of Wheat Cereal 1 cup 10.2 Instant oatmeal 1 packet 3.8 Lentils 1 cup 6.6 Spinach (boiled, and drained) 1 cup 6.4 Barley 1 cup 5.0 CALCIUM The recommended amount of total daily calcium: 1 to 3 years 500mg/day 4 to 8 years 800mg/day 9 to 18 years 1,300mg/day One glass of milk (1 cup) has approximately 300 mg of calcium. PHYSICAL ACTIVTY All health professionals and research scientists agree that physical activity is essential in maintaining overall good health. Children who are physically active and get lots of calcium from their nutrition have the thickest and strongest bones by the end of puberty. Being physically active as child means that they start out with stronger bones and are less likely to develop osteoporosis, as they become older adults. The recommendation for the amount of daily physical activity for children are at least 60 minutes of moderate activity and 30 minutes of vigorous activity. The goal is to replace the inactive time (screen time: television, video games, and computer) with moderate and vigorous activity, while keeping the activities of daily living the same or increasing. Examples of moderate activities are: dancing, swimming, tennis. Examples of vigorous activities are soccer, jogging, running and rowing. FIT TIPS: • Encourage young children to help with household chores. Most young people like to help out. • Encourage older children to be involved in the promotion of physical activities for other kids at school or even in the community. • Give your children toys, games, and sports equipment for birthday or holiday presents that will increase their physical activity. • After sitting in school all day, children should play when they first get home instead of watching television or doing homework. • Enroll your children in age-appropriate and developmentally appropriate sports and recreational activities. • If your child seems to be slow some days, offer them a choice among various moderate physical activities but do not permit them to be couch potatoes. • Allow your child to be involved in as many different types of activities as possible so they can discover the ones they prefer. • Ensure that new activities are introduced in non-threatening environments. • Avoid drawing attention to your children’s sedentary behavior; instead, praise your children often when they choose to be active • Avoid imposing adult standards of physical activity on your child. An hour of active play is more appropriate for young children than running for an hour. • Rubber band exercises can be great for children because the bands are relatively inexpensive, can be taken anywhere, and are a safer way to add resistance to exercises. • Exercise balls can be a lot of fun for adults and kids alike. The exercises that can be performed using the ball can help your child develop strength, flexibility, and balance.

As a reminder, we have gathered several important topics from different parenting books, to help you in raising your children:

Compliment More Than You Criticize Every married person understands the basic principle of balancing a checking account. As long as you deposit more money in the account than you withdraw, your checks will clear. As soon as your withdrawals dip below your balance, however, all of your checks will bounce. Any relationship, and especially marriage and children, works the same way. As long as you are expressing more positive words of approval, appreciation and affection than negative words of complaint, criticism and condemnation, you stand a good chance of having criticism accepted.

(From: 10 Minutes a Day to a Better Marriage, Dr. Meir Wikler, page 156)

Criticize the Behavior, Not the Individual Parenting guides often instruct parents to be sure to criticize only their children’s behavior and not their children per se. Parents are advised to say, "What you did was wrong" instead of "You are a bad boy (girl)." This principle of good parent-child relations applies equally to good marital communication, as well. (From: 10 Minutes a Day to a Better Marriage, Dr. Meir Wilker, page 156)

Do Say "Thank You" It is indeed important to teach children to say "thank you," but the teaching of gratitude should go beyond that. Parents should always acknowledge their gratitude when a child does something for them, and the few words of an elaboration of the concept of gratitude can be most helpful. For example, "Esther, could you please bring me the telephone from the kitchen?"..."Thank you, honey. I appreciate this. "

Parents should not take each other for granted and should serve as models for expression of gratitude. When one serves another at the table, it is appropriate to say "thank you," and when one runs an errand for the other, it should be acknowledged with an expression of gratitude. (From: Positive Parenting, Rabbi Abraham Twerski, M.D. and Ursula Schwartz, Ph.D., page 210-212)

Do Not Label Your Children Some children are shy, some are outgoing, some are rambunctious, and some are bookworms. It's their nature. And their nature is fixed at birth. Embrace each child's unique personality. Love it. Cherish it. Never try to change it. If your child is shy for example, try not to label him or her as such. If you continually reinforce the label, however he or she will believe it's true and start acting that way. (From: Nanny 911, Deborah Carroll and Stella Reid, page 58-61)

Do Not Threaten To children threats are invitations to repeat a forbidden act. When a child is told, "if you do it once more…" he does not hear the words "if you." He hears only "do it once more." Sometimes he interprets it as "Mother expects me to do it once more, or she'll be disappointed." Instead the mother can say firmly: "Stop it, what you are doing is not acceptable nor safe" and then redirect the kid to do it differently. (From: Between Parent and Child, Dr. Haim G. Ginott, page 63)

Make your Child Feel Safe by Using a Basic Talking Technique In order to make children listen to us, we need to make them feel safe, and when they feel safe, they can talk freely and honestly.

Follow these steps and you will find your child responding to you right away. Use this technique to calm down any child who is upset.

1. Get down to the child's level. Sit or kneel, whatever is comfortable.
2. Make eye contact. This is essential. If you have to, turn the child's head-gently-so he is looking directly at you.
3. If a child is very upset, it's okay to touch them gently on the back or on the belly. You don't need to hug or pull a child close when you're talking unless the child is clearly hysterical and is in need of comfort.
4. Change the timbre in your voice. Speak in a firm, low tone. Your voice naturally raises, when you're happy or having fun. A serious voice is a low voice.
5. Give the child words to help the conversation along. You can use the following sentences:
"Use your words" "You look really upset" "Would you like to tell me what's getting you upset?" "Is there something bothering you?" "Are you angry about something?" 6. Repeat what the child is saying. This shows them that you are absolutely listening. It also gives you time to organize your own thoughts. 7. Don't interrupt. Let the child speak his mind. Say that you understand. Then, when it's your turn, they will stop talking (because they've said it already!) and listen to you. If they interrupt when you're talking say, "I understand, but you need to let me finish, and then it's your turn." 8. Stay Calm. No matter how riled up inside you might be! (From: Nanny 911, Deborah Carroll and Stella Reid, page 55) Do Not Intervene to Show Acceptance Parents can show acceptance of a child by not intervening in his activities. Keeping hands off when a child is engaged in some activity is a strong nonverbal way of communicating acceptance. Many parents fail to realize how frequently they communicate non-acceptance to their children simply by interfering, intruding, moving in, checking up, joining in. Examples: interfering in drawings, homework, building a sand castle, and etc. (From: Parent Effectiveness Training, Dr. Thomas Gordon, page 43) Make Cleanup Time Fun Once you have delegated the chores, then you can begin to tackle the mess. Remember when teaching children about responsibility, it's always best to keep the lessons fun. Turn cleanup into a game. For example, set the timer and see who can get the most toys put away by the time cleanup is done.

Whatever you do, don't criticize your kids when they are cleaning up. Of course you can do a better, quicker job. You are twice their size and have years of experience! Allow them the opportunity to try their best, and praise them for a job well done. If you are consistent about the House Rule of daily cleanup, you'll soon find that you won't need a timer, and you won't need to nag. Cleanup will be done because it's expected to be done. (From: Nanny 911, Deborah Carroll and Stella Reid, pages 177 & 178) Make the Bedtime a Quality Time One of the most powerful points in your child's day can be those last few minutes before your child goes to sleep. It is also the time of the day when the parent is tired, but what message do you want to send in those last five minutes before your child goes to sleep? This is the time when children will express a worry, talk about a joy or tell you the things they would never tell you in the car coming home from school. Therefore, it is a good time to make yourself available to just listen and have quiet time together. The tired parent may feel tempted to run out of the room, but here it is where you define yourself as a listener and a parent with empathy. (From: Secrets to School Success, Brandi Roth, Ph.D., page 65) Specific Problem: Homework One common problem that parents confront is the child's inability to do homework. Try the following steps: • Pinpointing the Source As a first step, we need to see where the problem seems to be stemming from. Is it a new problem that just began this year, or is it perennial? Is it with all subjects, or only some? Is the problem stemming from the home, or is it school oriented? After you have pinpointed the problem, it is easier to solve it.

Some school and home oriented reasons why homework can be a problem include: o Lack of clarity and understanding, either about the topic to be studied or the homework assignment itself. o A dislike, on the part of the child, for either subject or teacher. o Lack of teacher follow-up as to whether or not the homework was done. o A noisy, busy, or otherwise distracting home atmosphere. This can include a home where there is a TV. o A home in which the parents are unavailable to help, or incapable of helping the child with his or her homework. o Parents who, sadly, do not regard the teacher or the schoolwork as being that important, an attitude which easily rubs off on the child. • Begin Where Success Is Most Likely Start the child off doing homework in the areas of least resistance, in those topics at which he or she is most likely to succeed. • Schedule Homework Time To prevent a homework disaster, prioritize. (From: Secrets To School Success, Brandi Roth, Ph.D., Page50 and 51)

• Report Cards and Parent Reaction With a very young child, the parent should read the reports first, away from the child. It may or may not be appropriate to show him the report card, because a young child is not capable of the critical thinking required to interpret grades and evaluation. A summary from the parent will usually satisfy a child who is curious about his progress.

A parent's purpose in discussing grades is to develop a plan of action. Neither you nor your child should feel overwhelmed or helpless as a result of these report cards. Overreaction by the parent can result in a child's going into denial, feeling fearful, rebelling or eventually completely shutting out the parent. To avoid reactions like these from your child, manage the discussion like a partnership, so your child sees that you and she are on the same team. • Use Questions Designed to Gather Information Such as: Did you have a chance to study for the math test that the report card said you failed? Have you tried to talk to your teacher? How can we help you? What would you like us to do? What is your plan for approaching the situation?

• Question and Statements to Avoid: What's wrong with you? What's the matter, don't you understand what's happening? How could you have missing assignments? How could you have low-test scores? Aren't you doing any of the work? Why can't you be more like your brother? You are just like your relatives on your mother's side. You watch too much television. You'll never go to college at this rate. • Positive Question to Ask Include: How do you feel about this grade? Is this a fair grade? Did you try your best? Does that grade reflect your efforts? Do you have a plan?

(From: Secrets To School Success, Brandi Roth, Ph.D., Page76 and 77)